So…fascinating and intriguing things are being done…
I am extremely honored and anticipating studies this summer with the guidance and instruction of Simon Critchley. If you attend to this interview, you will probably notice the many resonances and ideas I “sense” and look forward to engaging…
A Fiction Fragment
“In this system, nothing is more dangerous for an artist than success”
“Who made artists believe that art can be practiced only ‘successfully’? Who made them believe that for a book to reach its goal and its readers, the ‘taste-makers’ are absolutely necessary? How could they have allowed the critics, the editors, the owners of the chain bookstores, and so on, have so much power? And who made them believe that they are truly artists? Artists have come to believe that they, too, just like other people, need money and fame, money and fame for everyday life, moreover for being able to lead a lifestyle; and that these two repugnant things are seen as necessary for everything is not only tragic but ridiculous as well. What kind of artist or writer lives like that? Who is going to believe even a single line written? What kind of esteem can the art of our age garner for itself after even one such bout of deal-making? No, the artist’s needs are few: let there be something for him to eat and a place to live, and then every day he should circumambulate the city and country, like mendicants of old. Nothing whatever can be more important for him than his own personal dignity, and this is exactly what he loses forever after the very first deal-making transaction…And so what do I recommend? The taste of failure in place of success, poverty instead of wealth, anonymity in place of renown. For now, utter concealment as opposed to publicity, perfect camouflage to the point of invisibility, because what the artist who lives in personal freedom and independence finds himself confronting today is unbelievably strong, and seems invincible…above all else, an artist must be cautious. Like a ninja.”
all excerpts taken from a powerful volume of Music & Literature:
The Trouble Is
He feels slow, tectonic, deeply submerged even, unable to act, not able to speak, disabled (apparently) to respond, incapable even of processing. Something seems to have happened.
She – is confused and confounded – experiencing a complex cocktail of distress and depression, pointless and pointed-out, sludged, sloughed and slathered, comatose and doomed, sad and angry in equal measures. A compound. A compound problem.
But she’s not. And he can.
And they will.
The trouble is.
Yes, the trouble is.
Not easily fitted. Because it is this time. Again, it is now. And now, again. The words were made from before, or for some last time, some other. Something foreign. Along with the categories, analysands and diagnoses. Along with the remedies: all for a potential future or other distinctively past.
But it is now. Yes, the trouble is. Is now.
Words of others. Ideas, aspects.
Always malappropriate and inadequate. Words are not it. Words are something else.
This is not discrete or verifiable. Simple. Is. Trouble.
Yes, the trouble is.
And the trouble is now.
She collapses. He freezes again. And this frozen is yearning. Something excruciating. Like her. Like where she is, now collapsing. Collapsible. Collapsed. That’s the trouble.
The trouble is.
He wishes and fumbles, at light-year’s remove, another era, disabled, catatonic, all too aware.
She breaks in and through her fall. He hitches and constricts.
She gurgles a sound, a horrible mutable sound, hardly audible in her destruction and dismantling, her infolding and coming undone. And he cries, cries out, a sort of bellow and howl of noiseless emission, helpless to keep up with time, incapable of presenting, shaped and occurring like shore-stones and wheat-seed.
She is done. He has yet to arrive. He will not get there. Too far ahead and far too behind, and she is in trouble, and the trouble is.
Yes, the trouble is. It is now.
Something has happened.
“The more ways of articulating human experience one knows the better.”
– Eugene Gendlin
I would like very much to say/write something today. Something resonant and broad, something that would stimulate empathy, reflection, acute sensations, self-awareness and some renewed purposiveness toward what any reader might consider their own “good” and the larger “good” of the “world.” That would motivate us to be more fully, attentive to what we most value, what we most wish to value; that would tickle, trigger and activate that within each of our experiencings whatever it is in us that occurs in those sweet, heartbreaking and perception-exploding moments in which we feel like WE matter, that the WORLD we participate in matters, that meaning is worth, well, Life…and that Life as we are living it, we live together.
But I haven’t the first idea, concept or “hook” to know how to do that. I have nothing to say. I have urges, wishes, passions, dreams and a kind of crushing, yearning hope – that we might focus a little, shape ourselves, choose something for ourselves and one another and act with and toward ourselves, one another and the world in ways and fashions that could soothe, nourish, calm, comfort, extend and enhance our collective experience of being humans in a world full of so many other things we depend and inter-depend and co-depend on and with. Rather than our easy, disruptive, erratic, dissatisfying instinctual and common practice of reacting, responding, self-protecting, guarding, distancing, lashing out, closing in…separating, hurting and harming, frightened, cowardly and weak.
I don’t know where to start with that. I would that I could write the experience of others, could find synchrony and sympatico with my friends, family and acquaintances, could articulate the complexity and depth, mystery and reticulated implicit intricacies of their experiencings: their pains, joys, desires, griefs, knowings & doubts, wonderings and certainties, histories and prognoses, lusts and woundings… that I might be so much more tender to them, embracing, receptive, unthreatened and inclusive, gentle and comprehending.
I would like so desperately to be able to articulate the human experience of the world accurately…yet I am always wrong when I speak another, always deficient even when I speak myself…
other things articulate as well…
sciences, arts, histories, events, activities, gestures, accidents, philosophies, medicines, practices, rituals and religions
here are a few sounds (and in this order!) that have articulated my experience, today:
remarkable “accidental” or “fortuitous” articulations…
the sorrow and struggle of my love
the energy and delight of local biology professors to their craft and instruction
the events and experiencings of a day….
Here’s to us all
in case you want to join me there as well…
There’s this first thing. And then the side of it. The underside. Maybe a knot.
My shirt looks like a dress.
A darkness that comes open. A light controlled by dimmer switch.
It’s just work. Effort. The cost of paying attention. No end of account.
Start with what you might call a “feeling.” Continue that way. And move on. Navigable hunch.
The roles are flipped.
And flipped again.
Flip-flop, padding along.
I don’t remember much, but it all comes with. Sometimes called “effects.”
Affect. I perceive.
I watch her move, and move, and move again. I listen. I smell. I wish to touch. I like to learn. I don’t know what. Just find out. It doesn’t happen. Well, sometimes. But not as often as I wish.
I don’t know what the wishes are.
If that’s not true, then I don’t understand.
Over. Under. Stand. Other sides.
When most accurate, I breathe. Just that, and staying there, I follow.
Staying as a sort of plodding. A moving. A padding along.
It seems that sounds compete. But they collapse, constructing more.
If sights and sounds were all. Or,
If there was a difference.
A word was used – was “murky.”
I touch the curves. I’m searching edges.
The switch dims and brightens, dims again, brightens.
Something. And then the side of it. Another side. A knot.
Outside being inside, dims and brightens, inside-out again. Staying there.
An old and thankful argument. To whom? For what? To what? For whom? And so on.
Or just affect. And staying there, I move along. And I am thankful.