In Passing
notes to the soundtrack for my final disappearance
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This is how we emerge Concrescence by Caspian
beginning rhythm and reference
repetition and development of variations
slowly, gently
steady structures, establishing chords, core melodies
nostalgia for simplicity, grace of being
opening…up….toward, into
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This is how we make Freedom Blade by This Will Destroy You / Lymbyc System
as out from dreams, while dreaming remains
principles, values, self inquiry
as gradual clearings of fog
acquiring voice, an “I”, somethings to say and to be
slowly, gradually, reaching and dredging
tinkering, organizing, choosing, placing
beginning to see
to open to feel
Hello…I am…there is…
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Entering depth… Epochs in Dmaj by Caspian
coming toward finding
concentration, inquiry, staying, layering, unlayering
passion builds this way
empathy…moving into…world…self…other
touching…diving…flying…swimming
entering living
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Grief Less by Nils Frahm
what is singular
isolation
tears
“Less.” things, people, potentials, possibilities can be lost
ache. desire.. wish. sorrow
muffling pain…our inner workings…
the stillness, the silence surround
to remember
to wonder and to miss. to fall or to fail or need to lie down
to yearn from pain. to want.
to experience less. lack.
learning subtlety
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Heaving the scream Three-Legged Workhorse by This Will Destroy You
rage. revenge. determination. to seethe
out of ashes…begin again
explicitly
Anger.
To choose
Obstruction. Opposition.
To work. To pound. To continue.
To find vocation.
Three-Legged…to step forth with all one has…and step and step and struggle and step
To tear away and apply…not to stop…to expand
Insist
To break forth. Announce. I am!
I am, I am, I still am…
to recede…I may be….but only
toiling away…a way forward, surely, toiling…
the keeping at…the consume…continue, continue
I can’t go on…I must. go. on….through
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Personal Victories Any Other Name by Thomas Newman
gains. comprehensions.
coming to respond to one’s own “I am”
to say yes. alone. with world. in world.
perhaps not of
but alive
aware one is alive
one is
and a world of others
breath. grace.
learning to say okay to one’s self, to world
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Happening Day 1 by Explosions in the Sky
engagement
there is a world and it is occuring, happening
events
experience, experiments
accumulation and then freedom (from and to)
fascination, wonder
wide-eyed…beholding
possibility of promise…clear air
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Perspective Over There, It’s Raining by Nils Frahm
reflection
a widening of borders, boundaries
liminality of it all
flow, spread, rest…
far beyond one…
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Love The Only Moment We Were Alone by Explosions in the Sky
shock of AN other
thumps, rocks…startlement…stun
feels like a different world
unknowns
disbelief
wonder
amaze
…like revelation…
pours down…trickle at first…
more…more… (heartbeats)
more…more…
learning, details, fullness, expansion, sky, night, grandeur, power, ecstasy, mushrooming…breath, joining, at a jog…a joy…
it arrives = AT ONCE! CULMINATIVE! TOGETHER!
ENORMITY! gasp or sigh
down…
up…
recede…
return…
elation – anguish – hope – despair
Love.
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New heights, new depths…recovering… Epochs in Dmaj by Caspian
left up, out, space, sky, night
adrift, afloat
looking around…
still here…remains…
vision changed, rearranged…
world different again…
to absorb, take in, a daze, a comfort
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To season Mighty Rio Grande by This Will Destroy You
to have lived
endured
to still be standing, crawling, walking, breathing
to build again…
learning to live in the world, the “there are”
and you are…one among…
becoming part…
years, seasons, days, people, places, works, movements,
actions, sayings, knowings, doings, losses, gains,
accumulate…a-mounts…a thickness to things
nostalgia, tenderness, fullness, its dream
presence, presents, worth, echoes, its sea
plenty, rise, rest…
prepare…we are not through
heart quickens…
construct your words, your deeds, character
begin to GIVE
to RECEIVE
………………incredible fullnesses of joy………………
this dizzying intoxicating enormousness of world, of life
this paradise of being: look! listen! taste touch smell!
SEE! BE!! Oh just be!!! (PRAISE)
and then…………..
carry……….
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The Final New… Postcard from 1952 by Explosions in the Sky
where is this? where am I? where are we going?
wha-?!
let go………….
release……….
spread out…join…grow light
sweetly and sweetly sing
smile….acknowledge….thank….
on………..
upon surface of waves of cloud of sky of dream of eyes of breath of bodies and hands and hair and tongue and voice and meetings and partings and griefs and joys and haunts and words and journeys and memories and imaginations and….
and on………..
(delivery)
– so long –
(a star implodes)
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Reverberations Freedom Blade by This Will Destroy You / Lymbyc System
All my Words are Silent 
Hmmm, always evaluating the senses/sensations. Good to see.
“O, Margaret the lapping waves
are licking quietly at our ankles
Another bow, another breath
this brilliant chill is comfort a shackle.”
thank you for the encouragement and share of language