quick submission to Madison-Woods Friday Fictioneers…thankful for a task I can get my mind around! Please join, newcomers.
As close as he would ever come to stillness, the boy, lying here, slit and dying at the base of this strange tree. How could he have? Only one simple task, one clear instruction that might have spared them all. Any boy could do it, why not he? Why must he never be capable, never succeed, always fall short? How he’d run, as the marauders swooped down, how he’d raged through the woods, torn through the brambles toward the sounding tree. How could he have missed it, faltering here, now, cut from ear to ear, staring at the shofar of alarm, secure in its nook?
Polysemic Stupor 
Tragic, desperate, vivid — very well done! After I had a “negative” entry last week, I promised my daughter I’d do something less intense. I’ll be sure not to send her to yours! But I think it’s great. 🙂
Here’s mine: http://wrasselings.blogspot.com/2012/08/friday-fictioneers-resolution.html
So close, now out of reach.
thank you very much…headed to read yours!
Thought provoking… Excellent!
Thank you
I can feel his despair and feeling of failure. I like this best: “staring at the shofar of alarm, secure in its nook?”
Nice portrayal. I get the sense of his frustration.
The pace and rhythm of this piece pound like breaking surf, full of pain and frustration. I’d be sad, but the prevalent emotion I came away with was self-anger.
cheers,
Lorelei
http://westcoastwriters.blogspot.com/2012/08/fridayfictioneers-fork.html
Poor boy, never measuring up, ending up this way. So sad!
http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/the-horn-of-trust
Ow, what a sad story. My heart is heavy. Mine is here and linked as well: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/08/17/fridayfictioneers-the-withered-flower/
yes i felt for the boy as well…good poetry!
Sounds like a lot of responsibility for a boy–perhaps he was the only one who had actually been tested. The shofar is very appropriate for the prompt.
thank you!
Very well done
thank you very much
So touching… well expressed. Thanks and Love, nia