We could see what we wanted, almost taste it on our tongues. The smell of our promise with its head blown off. We’d never get there, our dreams were lodged in clouds. We stumbled to a halt to decide. Going up or going down? Together or parting our ways?
Contemplating our vision, we agreed it was beautiful. Perhaps beyond telling. It was then that it dawned: if we can’t say it to each other, we’ll never make it real.
N Filbert 2012
Friday Fictioneers, June 1, 2012
All my Words are Silent 
Beautiful. Amazing visuals. if you’re interested, here’s mine: http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/30/friday-fictioneers-1-june-2012-the-conquerer/
just read it – thank you!
“The smell of our promises with its head blown off” That was the most intriguing line ever. I thought it was a really really cool line. A very interesting piece.
Link to my attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/31/the-beautiful-hush/
This was very interesting. Unusual. I like that. Mine’s at http://marilynkaydennis.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/madison-woods-friday-fictioneers-waiting/ if you want to have a look.
“we agreed it was beautiful…but we will never make it real”…sad but beautiful.
http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-monochrome-silence/
Reminds of what the likes of Mallory and other Everest explorers must have felt on their climb up the mountains. Very clear imagery and nicely written. Thanks
Here’s mine: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-too-near-the-sun/
Dear Mr. Filbert,
I’m glad you had the time because your story was a sweet comment on the human condition all wrapped up in an enigma, to coin a phrase. Vision indeed. You had some dancing in your head to have been able to write yours so clearly.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks for this. It makes me wonder what’s going on with these characters. Mine’s here: http://stonesoupnovelist.com/2012/05/31/a-scene-something-on-the-horizon/
“The smell of our promise with its head blown off” got me too – very strong description. The whole story is suggestion, leaving us to wonder what it is exactly on the character’s mind, but giving us plenty of hints, letting us guess. Really enjoyed this one.
Brian (Here’s mine: http://pinionpost.com/2012/06/01/gradens-climb/)
Thank you!
Thank you very much!
Thank you very much Doug. Your comments encouraged me muchly
the head blown off was a unique description/comparison without overdoing it. good job.
http://brainsnorts.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/fridayfictioneers-61-via-madison-woods/
This short story is akin to Kwesi Brew’s poem – THE MESH
Here’s my flash fiction: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/01/the-standpoint/
A great interpretation of the picture.
A story full of soul searching and maybe a realisation of incompatibility?
I loved the line, “The smell of our promise with its head blown off.”
That was wonderful. And the idea of reality being subject to words is brilliant. Thanks for that.
Kathy
http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/690/
Thanks for reading – enjoyed yours as well
Thank you very much for reading and visiting!
Thank you very much for reading and visiting! That was my favorite line as well 🙂
I loved the last line – “…if we can’t say it to each other, we’ll never make it real.” Much truth wrapped up in that. This was thought-provoking little story and I liked it a lot.
thank you very much
“Our dreams were lodged in clouds” made me feel very sad for them. A romance or a mountain hike? You’ve managed to capture both very well.
THank you – I enjoyed yours as well. Thanks for visiting!
Such an overwhelming strength of idea. Gripping, physically AND mentally. The want heats the tongue and sets fire to the belly.
Very, very thankful I uncovered this… 🙂
Thank you. I’m thankful too. That project (Friday Fictioneers) saved me for awhile…maybe I should try it again – 100 words and a prompt… maybe…
Why wouldn’t you? If it worked once, why not again?