Homo Scribus Attonbitus

            For this foray I need, as they say, a “blank slate,” “carte blanche,” a banded void.

In other words, I know what I’m doing this time, not relying on the “shoulders of giants,” resting on no other’s laurels, or catapulting off some foreign quotation.  No grand metaphors from the dead or established.

I’ve come of age.

I view the spines of those lying around me – oh they’ve had their say and sung it quite loudly if you ask me! – now mouldered and whispering like ghost-chatter or chains rattling in a cellar wind.  No, those pregnant freight-train loads have departed this station and become imperceptible tremors, thunder-rumbles echoing to far dissipation.

I’m setting out my own trail.  No trail.  Expedition – yes, that’s it!  Packed with only myself and whatever remains undigested in my system, I’ll set out, set in; implore and explore.

My eyes, my hands, my legs and feet.  My lanky arms, my ears and my snoot – my particular mindbody complex and whatever might come to surround me!

No more reading!  No more imitating masters!  No more interludes and origins – referential abysses!  Nay, only this human specimen armed with senses and gestural capacities – engaging this world!

Sounds heroic, adventurous, creative and crafty – as a Ulysses hoisting his sail – a voyage and a journey, an epic assay of discovery!  (Forget the “Ulysses” slip – no more of that, believe me, I’m on my own here, now).  I’ll delete out the crutches and mentors, all competitors now on the lyrical battlefield of verbalizing existence!  Stand back!  Give way!  Fall silent!  (please???) – it should be my turn now!

I’m ready, able and willing – this is my moment.

Cutting ties, spreading wings, taking the stage, the road untraveled, for I’ll be building it as I go – my road.  My way.  My path.  My vision.

You’re probably wondering to yourself how you’ll identify something so unique, unprecedented and individually differentiated – yes?  Probably brimming up with anticipation and excitement – as if attending some grand unveiling, or approaching the mysterious goal of a lifetime’s pilgrimage?  Quite right to be ecstatic, verklempt and even a good deal afraid, perhaps intimidated – we can never know when awe and glory might undo us!

Prepare yourselves.

From this point forward you’ll be engaging this writer’s voice.  Texts, language and letters funneled and revealed via this being’s mediums and convergences.  As I invade and am invaded by my existence/existents; subjects, objects; realities, fancies and facts…you, dear lucky readers, shall be privileged and forced into a kind of secret society, veritable coterie and gnostic initiation into

the unknown of the unnamed one

            For indeed, perforce and assuredly instigating, nay, creating (as if ex nihilo, pro nihilo)… beginning such an enterprise as this requires all become fresh and new –

nothing answering to nothing

absolutely!  A virginal venture for all – an only!   Circumstance in the making of being made – the copulation of a human complexity encountering and being-countered-by ALL (within/without).

Oh, I’ve come of age.  Proven my ability to survive, alive, and to endure all the many centrifugal/centripetal formulating methods of provenance and progeny, culture and biology, genetics and genius,

have undone, erased, reformed or assimilated

and set forth as if naked, stripped bare,

into a fantastic actuality (“reality”!) likewise deposed and evolved.

To the marks!

On your marks (well, mine, actually) –

get set –

and here/now GOES!!

[drat! here/now went!]

Again…

 

“in response, you make a gesture filled with uncertainties…”

-Arkadii Dragomoshchenko-