As empty as a room filled with light

as prompted by Friday Fictioneers / Madison-Woods

fiction, short reads, free reads, fresh fiction, kitchen scene

How quiet the morning.  How light, though the flashlight remained still on the table.  Everything in its place, nothing to ruffle it undone anymore.  A morning in which the air had presence, its emptiness.  A sea near.  He thought to make coffee.  Thought to stir things up a bit.  Suspected  he should act or behave, carry on with routines, open blinds, crack eggs.  He could not.  Could only stand in this all-too-familiar entrance to morning, and realize.  Realize, as empty as the air filled with hazy light, empty as the counters without clutter, that where she had gone she would never return.

N Filbert 2012

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38 thoughts on “As empty as a room filled with light

  1. Dear Mr. Filbert,

    Your writing suffused the piece with light, softly illuminating the depths of his despair. The tone was perfect, the pace that of the dawn, the use of language masterful. Contrasting the emptiness with the growing light was ingenious and having him unable to “stir things up” illustrated perfectly his profound loss.

    Very well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  2. John Hardy Bell

    A very nice piece of writing. I can’t remember a week when so many of the stories have shared the same theme. Perhaps it’s the emptiness of a space we usually think of as the social center of a household. Perhaps it’s mere coincidence. Whatever the case, this prompt has spawned some brilliant stories, and yours fits right in! Kudos!

  3. These comments are a tough act to follow. Suffice it to say that I agree with all of them. You set the tone with skill. We felt the man’s grief and loss. I’m going to pour another cup of coffee now.

  4. I loved the slow uncovering of the heart of your story. Very skilful. And I love your comment prompt, too!
    PS Was it the sea that took her, or am I reading too much into that?

  5. The style of your sentences is great for this, poetic but also cropped to show his thought process. Understated drama, but that makes the impact of it work especially well. Nicely done

  6. Pingback: The Empty Spot | Source of Inspiration

"A word is a bridge thrown between myself and an other - a territory shared by both" - M. Bakhtin

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