as prompted by Friday Fictioneers / Madison-Woods
How quiet the morning. How light, though the flashlight remained still on the table. Everything in its place, nothing to ruffle it undone anymore. A morning in which the air had presence, its emptiness. A sea near. He thought to make coffee. Thought to stir things up a bit. Suspected he should act or behave, carry on with routines, open blinds, crack eggs. He could not. Could only stand in this all-too-familiar entrance to morning, and realize. Realize, as empty as the air filled with hazy light, empty as the counters without clutter, that where she had gone she would never return.
N Filbert 2012
38 thoughts on “As empty as a room filled with light”
I see what you mean. Your man is a bit less drastic in loneliness than mine. This comes across to me as very real, showcasing the empty life aptly.
aww. poor guy.
a world full of ’em! ahhh, loss. thanks for reading
thanks to you too.
This is just gorgeous.
Some beautiful writing here. Very observant in your details. Very heart rending the loss. Ron
very kind, thank you
I love the title, It sums this photo up! Wow! I think Ron is spot on here. Beautiful writing!
thank you very much, and for reading!
Good! Very sad and good!
oh how beautiful and sad.
Dear Mr. Filbert,
Your writing suffused the piece with light, softly illuminating the depths of his despair. The tone was perfect, the pace that of the dawn, the use of language masterful. Contrasting the emptiness with the growing light was ingenious and having him unable to “stir things up” illustrated perfectly his profound loss.
Very well done.
A very poignant piece, beautifully written. Nice work.
Love the writing. Very clean, crisp, and natural.
thank you muchly!
This was perfectly lovely, completely sad. Well done!
thank you very much!
thank you 🙂
A very nice piece of writing. I can’t remember a week when so many of the stories have shared the same theme. Perhaps it’s the emptiness of a space we usually think of as the social center of a household. Perhaps it’s mere coincidence. Whatever the case, this prompt has spawned some brilliant stories, and yours fits right in! Kudos!
thank you much, very kind…i think you’re on to something there – re: social center arid….
These comments are a tough act to follow. Suffice it to say that I agree with all of them. You set the tone with skill. We felt the man’s grief and loss. I’m going to pour another cup of coffee now.
I agree with everyone else…brilliantly written. Many similar, haunting, sad stories of loss this week. Mine is a bit lighter.
Sad story. Very touching.
I loved the slow uncovering of the heart of your story. Very skilful. And I love your comment prompt, too!
PS Was it the sea that took her, or am I reading too much into that?
i like the sea idea – brought that in because of the fish in the wallpaper, but i like that! thank you for visiting and reading
thanks for visiting / reading!
thank you so much!
The style of your sentences is great for this, poetic but also cropped to show his thought process. Understated drama, but that makes the impact of it work especially well. Nicely done
thanks so much for commenting & reading it
This simply takes my breath away, startlingly beautiful. I have linked it to a poem on my blog. Thank you! hugs, pat
Pingback: The Empty Spot | Source of Inspiration
wow! Thank you so much! That is very meaningful.
thank you scott
thanks so much for reading