Threw this one together quickly…not sure it can be kept up with in its leaps. Apologies. But I made something. Thanks always Friday Fictioneers
Blue Walls & Vines
The blue of the walls was brighter than sky, made peaceful by children’s playthings. The Other was far. Another place, other time. Among grapevines and meadows.
Both worlds had clouds. I remember. It takes time to conjure this up.
Her sky and those vines reminded me where I was – in a room full of chatter, chaotic with toys. One is peace; one is peaceful. Both are fraught. Both are ripe. There’s a difference.
We had hoped that it wouldn’t be great, but would carry. And it does, in its longing, its loss.
Both are fraught, both are ripe. Both are lovely.
N Filbert 2012
Polysemic Stupor 
I’m a little confused here. The narrator is caught between two actual separate worlds? Or is one real and one his imagination? Despite my confusion, I loved the last three sentences.
http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/07/bittersweet.html
thanks. i was imagining the narrator home tending home life, partner “she” somewhere in vines and meadows, perhaps europe, somewhere far and different, and the things that evokes
Beautiful and imaginative story. Inspires readers to exercise their own imaginations. I love the line, “One is peace; one is peaceful.”
http://ebooksscifi.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/pre-fall-by-ilyan-kei-lavanway-for-madison-woods-friday-fictioneers-100-word-flash-fiction/
thank you. i had already regretted specifying to previous comment…enjoyed your perspective muchly as well…other worlds often seem so far from mine
and then i regretted it, thinking your interpretation stronger…division of selves
I was definitely intrigued and wanted to know more. My initial reaction was that there were twins (or siblings), one living one dead, but I had trouble reconciling “fraught” and “ripe” with dead. I was surprised to read the commentary and learn that “The Other” is probably the father (or mother?), who is away. I did also think maybe things were occurring on two planets (the “Other”; “Another place, other time”; “Both worlds had clouds.”). The writing is very smooth, but there definitely has to be a wee bit more focus to keep readers from getting lost. 🙂 (I also wondered about “There’s a difference.”—are fraught and ripe supposed to be similar in some way? (My mind couldn’t correlate them.))
I’m over at http://plowright.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/fictioneers-22/ (I’ll warn you—I attempted poetry this week).
I felt the best thing to do with this wonderful piece of writing was to go with the flow and enjoy the words and the rhythm; not to analyse or second guess too much … great when read out loud too! =D
Also to say – writing is like art: everyone will interpret and react differently, and that’s OK! =D
it flows, are we different people in different mileaus ?
perhaps, no?
perhaps, depends upon our character.
Reminds me a little of mine. Just not as sad. Great job! 🙂
thank you!
🙂
which one?
“Both worlds had clouds” Nathan loved the story..brilliant write up..
nicely done
Thanks so much Rich!
thank you soma.
no need to thank me. i had the easy part. you had the hard part.
Puh-retty awesome… me likes. The imagery jumps at you, not an easy thing for all of us to do. ; )
thank you for reading and saying so
Hey now, I think you need a : ).
You are very welcome…