Not like there’s a whole lot there. It is what it is, my memory – glossy, apparently endless, and stripped bare. But there seem to be windows, areas the light creeps in, and doorways – entries to room after room of possibilities. If I could get in there, could move past this moment of glimpsing, find the courage to carry myself forward (or is it back?). Remains to be seen, here – me at the cusp, in full view, just on the verge, of remembering.
What just happened?
N Filbert 2012
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Polysemic Stupor 
Beautifully atmospheric first paragraph, and then I love how you brought me up sharp and laughing at the last line. The only bit I’m not sure about is ‘here me at the cusp’.
thank you very much!
Enjoyed this – just the right depth of mystery to it.
thank you very much!
I liked the first paragraph a lot, but wasn’t sure what to do with the last line. (“What just happened?”) I wasn’t sure at first how to feel reading that. The more I read it, though, the more I like it. Nice work.
that’s how the last line worked for me as well…at first i wanted a kind of meditation on the griefs around the frailty and ingenuity of our memories…and then i thought it equally applied to perception – or a memory-organization of the present moment…so tossed that in? 🙂
thanks for reading/commenting
It felt a little out of place at first, but after repeated reading, it seems to jerk the reader out of this contemplative moment into something more alert.
i was hoping so…thanks for that
Your thoughts, my thoughts, whose thoughts? What IS happening?
yep
Sounds like his memory is proving elusive. I also tripped up on ‘here me at the cusp’. Mybrain insisted on reorganising it to ‘me here at the cusp’, but that might not be what was meant at all.
perhaps I should have used a dash or comma – these are such helpful things – one doesn’t want a reader “tripping up”… like “here – me at the cusp, dah dah dah” perhaps
Ah yes, that would change it. Good thought.
Is this what I will experience if Alzheimer’s elects to make me the co-pilot?
nah, well, maybe – i hope i’m not familiar with that – it’s what i experience trying to figure out the mesh of world/self experience is 🙂
Liked the enigmatic, mysterious, atmospheric qualities in this. Ron
thank you Ron
N
I enjoyed this….The last line does jerk you out but I had no problems with it. It felt right. You already had the dash in on “here me at the cusp”..so no problems there as well. Reminds me of that Poem “Forgetfulness by Billy Collins.
Tom
thank you very much Tom
This is great work!
Beautiful translation of the prompt into something so profound.
Just beautiful.
thank you so much!
“glossy, apparently endless, and stripped bare”…having had buried memories surface in my own past, this phrase particularly stood out. I read a lot into this paragraph. To me it sounds as if the MC, while frustrated that he can’t remember, is terrified of what he will remember.
A lot in a few words.
shalom,
Rochelle
I can sense the frustration and longing here very palpably. That would be a hard place to be in, especially considering the last line. Very well done.
i can feel the internal struggle and frustration. well done.
Liked that. Memories held in rooms of the mind. I’ve a few lurking in there where I can’t face opening the door. Probably be healthier if I went in and did a bit of clearing out.
thanks rich, much
thanks for reading & adding to 🙂
Love this – full of ideas for the reader to explore, makes you look at the picture in a completely different way.
You got the same eerie feeling of an endless corridor as I did. Liked your way a lot.
thank you!
thanks a lot!
Dear Mr. Filbert,
Is this Alzheimer’s fever dream? if so, you can have it. i’m going to check out while i still know who I am. Good job this week.
Aloha,
Doug
thanks Doug. I don’t remember 🙂
I’m new to Friday Fictioneers, so I’m trying to make the rounds and leave some comments – this made me think of someone in the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s…when the illness affects them more than their families. I could almost sense anger at the end. Very good for a mere 100 words
thank you for visiting, joining, and taking the time to comment – welcome!
It’s always so interesting to see what your mind authors. I love the imagery.
thank you so much love.
So sensitive, such a good variation on the prompt. I thoroughly enjoyed your story – sad still, but fantastically executed. Very good. 🙂
thanks for reading!